The Soup of Doom

[0:00–0:08 | Spoken intro] Good evening, folks! Tonight’s special is the chef’s famous soup. The recipe is… classified! [0:08–0:32 | Verse 1] At the end of a crooked street, Where the moon wore a crooked grin, A restaurant with velvet seats Invited hungry people in. The chef was broad as a wardrobe, With a mustache curled just so. He flexed beside his steaming pot: “Come taste my famous stew!” [0:32–0:56 | Chorus] Beware the chef with the grand mustache, Stirring trouble in a silver pot! One little sip—then a theatrical gasp! The guests fall still right on the spot! He bows, they swoon, the band goes “ta-da!” His manners are grand, his soup is a crime! When he asks, “Would you like some more?” Drop your spoon and run in time! [0:56–1:20 | Verse 2] “Try my bisque,” he said with a wink, “Fresh herbs from a haunted hill!” The countess blinked above her drink; The mayor sat suddenly still. The critic cried, “A masterpiece! The finest soup I’ve ever had!” Then slid down gently in his seat, Still wearing his reviewer’s hat. [1:20–1:44 | Chorus] Beware the chef with the grand mustache, Stirring trouble in a silver pot! One little sip—then a theatrical gasp! The guests fall still right on the spot! He bows, they swoon, the band goes “ta-da!” His manners are grand, his soup is a crime! When he asks, “Would you like some more?” Drop your spoon and run in time! [1:44–2:08 | Bridge — spoken, then sung] The detective crept in, brave and disguised. “I’ll catch this cook!” he whispered low. The chef served a bowl. The detective replied, “Could I get that to go?” [2:08–2:32 | Verse 3] A tiny young waiter swapped the bowls; The chef drank down his own stew. He danced a jig, then rolled his eyes— And snoozed in his fondue! The guests escaped beneath the moon, The waiter locked the door. The chef snored loudly in his pot And dreamed of serving more. [2:32–2:56 | Final chorus] Beware the chef with the grand mustache, Though he’s snoring in a copper pot! The guests made their getaway fast, And the restaurant closed on the spot! The moon laughed loud, the band went “ta-da!” The waiter served pumpkin soup instead. “No poison tonight—just a fright!” And everyone danced till bedtime! [2:56–3:00 | Spoken tag] If the soup has a mustache… send it back!