Give Me a Pint

[Verse 1] I came in off the rain To Mary’s old front door But the bar was all chrome faces And I felt it to the core A blinking screen said, “Take a number” Like I was queuing up for bread I said, “Lads, I want a pint, not a password” And the thing just flashed in red [Pre-Chorus] Where’s the barkeep’s grin? Where’s the crack and curse? I miss the human clatter I miss the spill and worst No hand on the pull No nod across the bar Just a little glass machine And a QR code scar [Chorus] Give me a pint, not a program Give me a pint, not a plan I came for the laugh and the pour, boys Not a robot with a can Give me a pint, not a program Give me a pint, right now I want me trouble in a tumbler Not a blinking metal plow [Verse 2] The taps all bowed like soldiers Under polished silver skin And a voice said, “Please confirm yer order” When I’d barely stepped in I tapped me card, I tapped again It said, “Processing, please wait” I near dropped me tongue in the sawdust At that automated fate [Pre-Chorus] Where’s the bent-up stool? Where’s the sticky floor? Where’s the man who knows yer father And pours one more than before? Now the stout comes out precise Like a lesson from a train Cold and clean and empty Like it washed the soul away [Chorus] Give me a pint, not a program Give me a pint, not a plan I came for the laugh and the pour, boys Not a robot with a can Give me a pint, not a program Give me a pint, right now I want me trouble in a tumbler Not a blinking metal plow [Bridge] I shouted, “I’m a customer, Not a line of code in a queue” The machine said, “Thank ye kindly” And I near went through and through So I thumped the counter, laughing At the madness of it all If the pub won’t have a heartbeat Then what’s the use of the hall? [Final Chorus] Give me a pint, not a program Give me a pint, not a plan I came for the laugh and the pour, boys Not a robot with a can Give me a pint, not a program Give me a pint, right now I want me trouble in a tumbler Not a blinking metal plow [Outro] Bring back the hands that knew me Bring back the room alive I’ll drink to men and mischief And the old ways that survive Give me a pint, not a program And I’ll stay till closing time