King of the Road

[Verse 1] Mick came out of Murphy’s with a wobble in his stride, A porcelain throne was clinging to his backside. He tried to take the shortcut past the harbor wall, But every step went clatter, and the gulls began to call. [Pre-Chorus] He tugged and twisted, gave a mighty groan, The neighbors poured outside to see the traveling throne. [Chorus] Hey, Mick, keep moving, don’t ye stop! There’s a toilet on yer backside and it’s fit to drop! Hey, Mick, march on, give the whole town a show! With a loo stuck to yer bum, yer the king of the road! [Verse 2] He shuffled past the bakery, the baker dropped his tray, The postman rang his bicycle and pedaled far away. A fiddler struck a reel, and the children formed a line, While Mick cried, “Fetch a plumber—or a rope, or turpentine!” [Pre-Chorus] They tried a bar of soap, they tried a bucket of suds, But that stubborn seat held tight through the cheers and the thuds. [Chorus] Hey, Mick, keep moving, don’t ye stop! There’s a toilet on yer backside and it’s fit to drop! Hey, Mick, march on, give the whole town a show! With a loo stuck to yer bum, yer the king of the road! [Instrumental] [Bridge] At last came old Maeve with a wrench in her hand, She gave one turn—and Mick was free to stand! The throne hit the cobbles with a clank and a spin, And the crowd raised a cheer as the dance began again. [Final Chorus] Hey, Mick, keep moving, now yer free! That porcelain passenger’s history! Hey, Mick, march on, let the whole town know: Ye shook off the loo, now yer stealing the show! [Outro] No more clatter following wherever ye go— But Mick keeps a wrench in his coat, just in case, ye know!