Eat It

[Intro – Gary, smooth and charismatic] Hey, everybody! Come on in, come take a seat. I got something hot, I got something sweet. Don't ask too much, don't overthink You came here hungry. LET'S EAT! [Verse 1] Walked into the kitchen with a grin from ear to ear Got a little something cooking that I've been aging here for years Got the garlic, got the butter, got the pepper, got the spice Got a secret in the center that'll make you ask me twice Look at that presentation, look at that golden glaze I've been perfecting this creation in a hundred different ways There's a little bit of crunch and there's a little bit of bite And if you hear it moving, well, that means I got it right Don't worry 'bout the aroma, that's the seasoning at work Don't worry 'bout the texture, that's what gives it all its perk Don't worry 'bout the color, that's the way the flavors blend And if you see it twitching THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S FRESH! [Pre-Chorus] So grab a plate, grab a fork Come on, baby, don't be shy I've been cooking all night long NOW LET'S SEE YOU GIVE IT A TRY! [Chorus] EAT IT! Come on, baby, take a bite! EAT IT! I promise you, it's gonna be alright! EAT IT! Don't be shy, I made it just right! You know you want another one SO EAT IT TONIGHT! EAT IT! Look at that, ain't she a beauty? EAT IT! Gary's gonna show you how to do it! EAT IT! Trust your buddy, Gary knows his food! One little bite and you'll be saying DAMN, GARY, THIS IS GOOD! [Verse 2] I got a casserole simmering, bubbling by the stove It's been sitting there so long it's practically begun to grow There's a sauce inside the saucepan that I started last July I gave it one good stir today AND IT LOOKED ME IN THE EYE! Got some pickles in a bucket, got some meat beneath a sheet Got a jar of something yellow that is somehow still got heat I've got gravy by the gallon, I've got biscuits by the stack And a little mystery Tupperware I'm never getting back If you smell something funky, that's the flavor getting deep If you hear a little knocking, that's the meat beginning to sleep If the casserole is bubbling, don't you worry, that's okay That's the natural fermentation OF THE GARY WAY! [Pre-Chorus] Grab a plate, grab a fork Come on, baby, dig right in You already had a serving AND YOU CAME BACK FOR AGAIN! [Chorus] EAT IT! Come on, baby, take a bite! EAT IT! I promise you, it's gonna be alright! EAT IT! Don't be shy, I made it just right! You know you want another one SO EAT IT TONIGHT! EAT IT! Look at that, ain't she a beauty? EAT IT! Gary's gonna show you how to do it! EAT IT! Trust your buddy, Gary knows his food! One little bite and you'll be saying DAMN, GARY, THIS IS GOOD! [Bridge – Gary, smooth] Now hold on, hold on... I know what you're thinking. "Gary... What's actually in this?" Well, that's a very good question. And normally I'd tell you. But... You already ate it. [Beat] And you said you liked it. [Gary laughs] So why ruin a beautiful thing? [Breakdown] TAKE A BITE! That's right! TAKE A BITE! Nice and slow! CHEW IT UP! Taste the flavor! SWALLOW IT DOWN! There you go! ONE MORE! Come on! ONE MORE! Don't fight it! ONE MORE! You know you like it! GARY MADE IT! GARY'S GOT IT! GARY'S GONNA MAKE YOU EAT IT! [Verse 3] Now everybody's asking what I put inside the stew And I'm smiling 'cause the answer isn't any of your cue There's a little bit of this and there's a little bit of that There's a reason that the lid is wearing three layers of duct tape The pickles have been curing, the casserole's alive The mystery meat's been aging since two thousand five That was their birth year(thanks Nymph-E) for the meat But don't you worry, baby, everything I serve is prime I only use the freshest to eat IF YOU DON'T COUNT THE TIME! [Pre-Chorus] So raise your fork up high Put a smile upon your face You've already had six servings AND I JUST MADE ANOTHER CASE! [Final Chorus] EAT IT! Come on, baby, take a bite! EAT IT! I promise you, it's gonna be alright! EAT IT! Don't be shy, I made it just right! You know you want another one SO EAT IT TONIGHT! EAT IT! Look at that, ain't she a beauty? EAT IT! Gary's gonna show you how to do it! EAT IT! Trust your buddy, Gary knows his food! One little bite and you'll be saying DAMN, GARY, THIS IS GOOD! [Final Breakdown] EAT IT! COME ON! EAT IT! DIG IN! EAT IT! DON'T WASTE IT! EAT IT! GARY MADE IT! [Final Hit] EAT IT! [Outro – Gary, cheerful] See? That's what I call a five-star meal. ... Oh. One thing. The casserole wasn't supposed to move. Huh. Well... Probably means it's ready.