The Help I Didn't Call For

You brought a ladder to my wall I left it by the door You kept your hands out, steady I told you I need nothing more I heard you knock at seven Then I turned down the sound Now every little kindness Waits somewhere I can't be found I was too busy being stubborn Too proud to look around You were there with both hands open I was busy falling down I called it independence Thought I had it figured out Now the weight of what you offered Is the only thing left loud I should've said it Before the hour slipped I should've took your hand Before it all went quick You kept the light on I walked past the door Now I know what it was Now I know what it was The help I didn't call for The help I didn't see I let it drown Why I only feel it now? The help I didn't call for Now it's haunting me I see it too late Disappearing in front of me You left soup on my counter You left a note by my bag You left food on the step When I said I was "fine" Left the spare key there Like you trusted my mind You texted "you home?" I read it and froze Now I'm counting every mercy I was too slow to catch I should've said it Before the hour slipped I should've took your hand Before it all went quick You kept the light on I walked past the door Now I know what it was Now I know what it was The help I didn't call for The help I didn't see I let it drown Why I only feel it now? The help I didn't call for Now it's haunting me I see it too late Disappearing in front of me If I could go back I'd answer on the first ring I'd say "I'm not okay" I'd let the hurt sing I'd name the weight I'd stop acting brave I'd let your care in Before it turned to a grave The help I didn't call for The help I didn't see I let it drown Why I only feel it now? The help I didn't call for Now it's haunting me I see it too late Disappearing in front of me I found the door wide open When it was already the end (mmm…)