I'm Not Dead Yet...

WARNING: This song sits with the darkest corners of staying alive. If you're in one of those corners right now, you're not alone in it. Please reach out to someone: a crisis line in your respective area/country, a person you trust, anyone. You don't have to carry this quietly. 🖤🤍 "I'm still here…" (still here...) "Dragging this pulse through another morning…" "Why won't it just stop…" The ceiling stares back like it knows my secrets I count the cracks just to prove I'm breathing Every heartbeat feels like a borrowed mistake I open my eyes but the light still feels fake I'm not dead yet (I wish I was...) I'm not dead yet God I wish I was This heart keeps beating like it's mocking me Still carrying a body that wants to be free The mirror shows a stranger wearing my face I trace the hollows where the color's erased Shower water runs cold over skin I don't claim I smile at nothing and nothing smiles the same I'm not dead yet (I wish I was...) I'm not dead yet Fuck I wish I was Still bleeding quietly in rooms I can't leave Still pretending there's something left to believe (something else to be lived) Tomorrow might finally do what I can't Press the off switch on everything I am (and everything I was…) But today I'm still rotting in fluorescent light Smiling for no one at 3:47 at night I'm not dead yet (God, I wish I was...) Still chained to a heartbeat that won't give up Dragging this corpse through another day I'm not dead yet… and that's the only thing left to blame… "Still here…" (still here...) "Still breathing through the quiet war inside…" "Still here… I guess…"