EUCHARIST ADDICT

Forgive me Father… for I have binged again. I ate the body for the high and washed it down with my regret. I was nine when they gave me my first hit Little white wafer like “this’ll fix it” Said the wine was His blood So I drank till I blacked out Choked on divinity Then spit my past out Confess my sins to a screen in the wall Told a man in a robe how I wanted to fall He said, “Pray harder God’s got plans” While his fingers still shook from touching my hands Amen to the trauma I baptized in silence Faith ain’t salvation It’s ritual violence Crossed my heart with a cigarette burn And watched the altar boys take their turn I keep crawling to the pulpit Like it’s gonna make me whole But every sermon tastes like ashes When the bread don’t fill the hole I’M A EUCHARIST ADDICT HIGH ON THE HOST CHEWING THROUGH THE BODY JUST TO FILL UP A GHOST SWEET LIKE SEX, SOUR LIKE SHAME I’D SNORT THE SCRIPTURE IF IT NUMBED THE PAIN BLESS ME, BLEED ME, FEED ME THE LIE I’LL TAKE THE SACRAMENT WITH BLOODSHOT EYES HOLY IN HELL, SACRED IN DAMAGE I KEEP PRAYING TO THE GOD THAT ABANDONED You ever beg for mercy With a Bible to your throat? Quoting John 3:16 While your psyche fucking chokes? Yeah, I’ve tithed my trust To a system of rot Where the pastor owns planes While the kids rot in spots Kneel for the wine Stand for the guilt Bled out belief But they bottled the filth I’m stitched from verses That warped in the flame Every page turned Just etched in my name You think you know grace? I OD’d on hope Found God in a mirror And slit His throat. You called it faith But I called it a fix Swallowed your heaven And choked on the script I’M A EUCHARIST ADDICT HIGH ON THE HOST CHEWING THROUGH THE BODY JUST TO FILL UP A GHOST SWEET LIKE SEX, SOUR LIKE SHAME I’D SNORT THE SCRIPTURE IF IT NUMBED THE PAIN BLESS ME, BLEED ME, FEED ME THE LIE I’LL TAKE THE SACRAMENT WITH BLOODSHOT EYES HOLY IN HELL, SACRED IN DAMAGE I KEEP PRAYING TO THE GOD THAT ABANDONED STOLE HIS FLESH CALLED IT FAITH ATE HIS HEART LIKE A HOLY ESCAPE LICKED THE BLOOD OFF THE PRIEST’S RING FINGER LEFT A STIGMATA THAT STILL FUCKING LINGERS I BITE THE BODY I CRAVE THE SIN I’LL EAT HIS WORDS ‘TIL I BLEED WITHIN GOD’S JUST A DEALER IN A CHURCH-COAT SHROUD SOLD ME SALVATION JUST TO WATCH ME BOW Take. This. In remembrance… of me. OF MEEEEEEEEEE!!!. I BLED IN THE SHAPE OF A CROSS ON THE WALL WRITHED LIKE A SERMON WITH A GUN IN ITS CRAWL GNAWED ON THE SCRIPT TIL THE TRUTH TURNED BLACK REGURGITATED VERSES WITH A NOOSE ON MY BACK I AIN’T SAVED I’M STAINED! HOLY BLOOD IN MY VEINS! I WEAR A HALO MADE OF RAZORS AND A COLLAR OF CHAINS! I SCREAMED IN THE CHAPEL NO ANGELS CAME! SO I PRAYED TO THE VOID JUST TO TASTE MY NAME I’M A EUCHARIST ADDICT DON’T NEED A PRAYER JUST A CRUCIFIX BURNED INTO THE BACK OF MY CHAIR BLEED ME DRY, BAPTIZE THE HURT I’LL MAKE MY OWN HEAVEN FROM THE ASH IN THE DIRT HOLY IN HELL, SACRED IN DAMAGE I KEEP PRAYING TO THE GOD THAT ABANDONED MEEE!!