Lyrics
Meet Uncle Ray, he's a legend of speech, With a fable for every small town in reach. Whatever you did, he did it with flair, In a custom-made suit and a breezy armchair. (Chorus) Oh, you can't top Ray, it's a known decree, He's lived and breathed all of history! Whatever you've done, he's done so grand, With a snazzier and more delightful brand. (Verse 2) I said, "My first car was an old '74, Rusted out panels and a sagging door." Ray chuckled, "Luxury! That's a peach! Mine was a spotless convertible right off the beach. In fact, when I rode with old Noah at sea, His ark didn't move till he checked it with me." (Chorus) Oh, you can't top Ray, it's a known decree, He's lived and breathed all of history! Whatever you've done, he's done so grand, With a snazzier and more delightful brand. (Verse 3) I mentioned I planted a tomato vine, Got three red beauties hanging on the line. Ray whistled, "Cute. Mine grew big and tall, Produced a bushel right against the back wall. Cleopatra herself asked to borrow a seed, Said my garden was truly the eighth wonder's breed." (Chorus) Oh, you can't top Ray, it's a known decree, He's lived and breathed all of history! Whatever you've done, he's done so grand, With a snazzier and more delightful brand. (Outro) So I just smiled and told him today, "Ray, I'm heading down to peaceful old Tampa Bay." He sighed and checked his watch in a flash, "Tampa? I founded that place with some cash, Back when Ponce de León asked me where to explore— And honestly, I liked it much better before."