The Frightened Yes/Fuck Your Providence (unreleased)

Ive been picking bloody splinters from this motherfucking pew Watching holy water mix with sweat and darken up the wood I kept my little heartbeat in a tiny metal cage Swallowed down the butchered chapters told the priest the taste was good They told me that the giant Hand that smacked me was in love But love shouldnt need a hee-muh-TOH-muh just to prove its there You cannot snap the sparrows neck and call the breaking mercy If justice wears a butchers apron its just a game of dare GOD CANNOT HURT ME AND BE JUST The math is fucking broken Cruelty cannot be the cornerstone of anything thats holy If he is not just well then he isnt God If hes not God then I do not have to fear him And if I do not fear him I do not have to obey (Ba da da da da BAM) I felt the doctrine catch against its own pathetic throat Why should adoration be the bastard child of fear I dragged my painted fingernails across their sacred lies Ripped the velvet curtains down and saw the gears appear If the captain sinks the goddamn ship to show hes in command I owe him zero loyalty no gratitude for drowning I will not make this bleeding body evidence of faith I take back every frightened Yes while all the angels are frowning GOD CANNOT HURT ME AND BE JUST The math is fucking broken Cruelty cannot be the cornerstone of anything thats holy If he is not just well then he isnt God If hes not God then I do not have to fear him And if I do not fear him I do not have to obey The pivot The contradiction The place where the whole stupid machine gives way You cannot hold the whip and call the lashes sweet protection You cannot lock the cellar door and call the darkness shelter You cannot beg for worship from the mouth you taught to bleed Not just Then not God Not God Then not feared Not feared THEN NOT OBEYED I followed the logic all the way down the rabbit hole AND THERE WAS NO ONE ON THE FUCKING THRONE The tether goes slack The machinery grinds to a halt I take my hands off the wheel they told me was holy He cant hurt me Not and be just Im swiping the chalice off the altar Im leaving the dust exactly where it falls Not feared Not obeyed Just me Naked breathing and standing Inside the life I was told belonged to him