Settlement Terms (The Gravy Boat Stays)

Now I don't know who needs to hear this, but I sure can testify, I got talked into poultry marriage by a bird with shifty eyes. He said trust me, it's romantic, said it's legal, it's legit then he waddled off with my dignity and a portion of my tips. He notarized it at a Waffle House with a pen he stole from Chase. So I called my lawyer, said sir... let's begin. He said ma'am... I've seen some things... but this duck is gonna END. SETTLEMENT TERMS! (HEY!) READ IT OUT, JUDGE! (HEY!) I took his whole little empire and I cleaned him right out! You can HAVE that pond I don't even wanna stay BUT I'M KEEPIN' MY GRAVY AND MY YARD FLAMINGO TODAY! Now the duck played shocked in court like, Who? Me? I'm innocent! But sir, I got the screenshots and the receipt-chain evidence. You signed off on my downfall in a cowboy hat and tie and you billed it as emotional labor... well I billed it as a LIE. And when the judge asked any comments, he said I plead the fifth- then he tried to blame the chicken, and I said NO... YOU DID THIS. So he'd waddled in with confidence, like he thought he'd get away but I brought the whole truth with me... and the judge goes, “Ma'am... you okay?” SETTLEMENT TERMS! (HEY!) READ IT OUT, JUDGE! (HEY!) I took his whole little empire and I cleaned him right out! You can HAVE that pond I don't even wanna stay BUT I'M KEEPIN' MY GRAVY AND MY YARD FLAMINGO TODAY! Well the judge looked down at that duck, said "son, you're outta luck," then slammed that gavel twice like "I've heard enough." Said "you can keep your pond" like I even cared to stay, but that gravy and flamingo? They're comin' home with me today. SETTLEMENT TERMS! (HEY!) READ IT OUT, JUDGE! (HEY!) Tell your little duck attorney I'M THE ONE WHO WON NOW! You can HAVE that pond I don't even wanna stay BUT I'M KEEPIN' MY GRAVY AND MY YARD FLAMINGO TODAY! Case closed. And sir? I changed the locks.