Second Skin

I wear "I'm fine" like a second skin Got used to holding everything in Say I'm okay, I play the part While something's breaking in my heart I'm not fine, not in my own skin Don't even know where I begin Got so good at keeping it light You'd never know I'm losing the fight Do I only matter if I break out loud? If I fall apart in front of a crowd? If I don't bleed where they can see Do I even matter at all? I learned to carry quietly So they'd never hear me fall They don't worry when I'm silent They don't notice when I break Guess I got too good at hiding Everything I couldn't say Some days I'm leaning over the brink Been this way for longer than I can think Only seen when holding it together Fall apart and suddenly I matter Always fine until I'm not okay Then they notice but it fades away They don't see the cracks until they show By then it's already overflow Do I only matter if I break out loud? Do I stop pretending and say it out loud? If I don't bleed where they can see Do I even matter at all? I learned to carry quietly So they'd never hear me fall They don't worry when I'm silent They don't notice when I break Guess I got too good at hiding Everything I couldn't say They ask why I don't reach out But the timing's never right Everyone's already busy Trying to get through their night It's not that I don't want to I just don't know where to start So I sit here in the quiet Carrying it in my heart Do I only matter if I break out loud? Or does it count if I don't fall down? If I don't bleed where they can see Do I even matter at all? I learned to carry quietly So they'd never hear me fall They don't worry when I'm silent They don't notice when I break Guess I got too good at hiding Everything I struggle to say