Lyrics
[Verse 1] I'm stuck here waiting on a ride, Been killing way too much damn time. I stood around till my legs got sore, Then found an empty chair by the door. Sat myself down, took off the load, Maybe relaxed a little more than I should. 'Cause something shifted deep inside... Oh Lord, I think I gotta let one slide. [Pre-Chorus] The room is full, there's nowhere to run, And judging by the pressure... this ain't gonna be fun. I could stand up, but I know that trick— The second I move, it's gonna slip. [Chorus] I think it's gonna be a squeaker, A tiny little seat-creeper. One wrong move and everybody's gonna know, So I'm sitting here praying that the pressure lets go. My ride ain't here, I'm losing hope, I'm clenching like my life depends on it, folks. Don't make me laugh, don't make me sneeze— I'm holding back a squeaker between my knees. [Verse 2] There's a bathroom sitting 'cross the room, Like salvation shining through the gloom. But someone's gone and locked the door— A PADLOCK?! What the hell's that for?! Now everybody's scrolling on their phones, Nobody knows the danger zone. They think I'm calm, just waiting around— They don't know I'm holding back a biological sound. [Pre-Chorus] If I get up, I know what'll be, Every single head's gonna turn toward me. Can't blame the chair, can't blame my shoe, Once that little squeak comes through. [Chorus] I think it's gonna be a squeaker, A high-pitched little secret-leaker. One wrong move and everybody's gonna know, And that bathroom's fifty damn miles across the floor. My ride ain't here, I'm losing hope, I'm clenching like my life depends on it, folks. Don't make me cough, don't make me sneeze— I'm holding back a squeaker between my knees. [Bridge] Wait... Was that my ride outside? No... False alarm. Oh God. So was that. [Breakdown] Hold it... Hold it... Easy now... Don't shift your weight... Somebody opened the door! Is that my ride?! [Final Chorus] I'M GONNA MAKE IT, LITTLE SQUEAKER! You ain't turning me into the room-clearing reaper! Grab my coat, don't hesitate, Stand up slow and walk real straight! My ride pulled up, sweet liberty, Fresh air's waiting there for me! I hit that door, finally free— [SQUEAK] ... Aw, shit. [Outro] Nobody move. Maybe they'll blame the chair.