Mango’s All That

[INTRO - spoken] Okay. This is not weird. She’s a bird. I know she’s JUST…a bird. But I wanna HIT IT! [VERSE 1] Vince saw Mango from across the room, Orange little face and an attitude, Like Pretty Woman walking down Rodeo, Except she pooped on his Nintendo. Sleepless in Florida, staring at the phone, You’ve got mail? Nah - you got nailed! Ten things I hate? I can’t name one, Except you scream at six A.M. for fun. She’s all that! (SHE’S A BIRD!) Notting Hill! (THAT’S ABSURD!) Jerry Maguire said something profound, Mango knocked his cereal onto the ground. [PRE-CHORUS] He rehearsed it in the mirror every night, But when she waddled over, Vinny’s booty got tight [CHORUS] MAN-GO! I should’ve told you all along! My life’s a ninety-minute rom-com With a three-minute punk-rock song! MAN-GO! You had me at…. SQUAAAAAWK! Okay, actually, That was pretty close. [VERSE 2 - RAP/PUNK] Wedding Singer! Notebook! Fifty First Dates! How to Lose a Guy while your conure escapes! Thirteen Going on Thirty, Vince is seventeen, Running through the airport like a deleted scene. Love Actually? Actually, no— Crazy, Stupid, Love when she bites your toe. The Holiday! The Proposal! Hitch! Mango stole a cracker then she flipped the script. Say Anything with his boombox overhead! Bird looks down like, “Dude, go to bed.” He stands in the rain like cinema demands, Mango’s indoors sunflower seeds in his hands. [BREAKDOWN] BIRD! (Bird bird bird!) VINCE! (Tell her, nerd!) BIRD! (Bird bird bird!) VINCE! (USE YOUR WORDS!) [VERSE 3] Crazy Rich Asians, Mango’s got no cash. Silver Linings, she just wants a bath. About Time, yeah, Vince, you’re running out, Palm Springs panic as she suddenly gets out! Window cracked, Mango takes flight. Music stops. Vince goes white. He runs outside in his pajama pants, No grand plan and no second chance. [BRIDGE - HALF-TIME] No cue cards. No perfect line. No airport gate at closing time. No movie speech somebody else wrote. Just Vince yelling “Mango, please come home!” Silence. Then SQUAWK. He looks up. There she is. [FINAL CHORUS - HUGE] MAN-GO! I should’ve told you all along! You’re my tiny feathered best friend In my stupid teenage rom-com! MAN-GO! No Hollywood ending required! You bite my fingers, wreck my bedroom, And somehow I never get tired! La La Land can keep the dancing! The Notebook can keep the rain! I don’t need a perfect ending… JUST DON’T FLY AWAY AGAIN! [GANG VOCALS] MAN-GO! (SQUAWK!) VINCE! (SQUAWK!) MAN-GO! (SQUAWK!) [OUTRO - spoken over feedback] Vince: “So… you feel the same?” Sunny: “SQUAAAAAWK!” Vince: “I’m gonna take that as a yes.” [FINAL GUITAR HIT] Sunny: “Wrong.”