Lyrics
[Intro] [heavy breathing, eerie synth pad] [maniacal laughter] [distorted guitar riff enters, double-kick drums] [Verse 1] [whispered female vocals] Hush little ruin, close your eyes [melodic male baritone vocals] Count the rooms where daylight died [whispered female vocals] One for hunger, two for blame [melodic male baritone vocals] Three for the kid who forgot their name [spoken male vocals, music cuts to low synth drone] This is not a suicide note. It's a crime scene. [Chorus] [full band, heavy distorted guitars, aggressive screamed male vocals] I got good at being okay till okay started tasting like dirt I make jokes out of damage so nobody asks where it hurts I hate when they say I'm strong like I chose to be built this way I was just the one still standing when everyone else walked away [Verse 2] [half-time feel, clean guitar with delay, melodic male vocals] I flinch when someone loves me, I panic when the room gets calm [whispered female vocals] I say I'm tired when I really mean I'm barely holding on [melodic male vocals] There's a page for every man I've ever stopped being so damn weak Every night I beg my head to shut the fuck up and let me sleep [Pre-Chorus] [whispered female vocals, building synth tension] Did you hear that? Dear fear, dear rage, dear childhood cage, dear mirror with its butcher light [screamed male vocals] You don't get my name tonight! [Chorus] [aggressive screamed male vocals, driving drums] Death notes, I wrote down what tried to own me Death notes, every voice that learned to clone me Black ink, bad blood, cold floor, old flood I buried the names that dragged me under Death notes, I wrote my pain, not my name [Bridge] [industrial percussion, distorted bass] I was raised by doors slamming! (I love that always laughs!) Not my name! Not my name! I put the shame on the page! I put the pain... [guitar solo with wah effect and rapid tapping] [Verse 3] [clean guitar arpeggio, melodic male vocals] I don't trust easy kindness, it feels like a trap with a smile [whispered female vocals] I don't answer "how are you?", I just lie for a while [melodic male vocals] I've been mad at the world and ashamed that I'm mad Then guilty for wanting the love that I never fucking had [Chorus] [full intensity, screamed male vocals] Death notes, I wrote down what tried to own me Death notes, every voice that learned to clone me Black ink, bad blood, cold floor, old flood I buried the names that dragged me under Death notes, I wrote my pain, not my name [Outro] [heavy guitar chugging, growled vocals] Count the damage! Count the years! Count the bodies in my mirrors! Count the times I disappeared! [music stops abruptly] [whispered female vocals] Hush little ruin, go to sleep. The book is closed. [spoken male vocals] But it still screams. [final industrial hit]