Gary's Guac ft. Nymph-E

[New Neighbor] Everybody grab some food! Make yourselves at home! [Gary] Oh, I brought something special. [Steve — Internal Dialogue] Oh God. [Verse 1] Walked into the new neighbor's house at a quarter after eight Housewarming party, everybody celebrating Chips on the counter, drinks lined up along the wall Gary showed up carrying the biggest bowl of guac of them all Said, “I brought my specialty, you people gotta try” Nobody questioned Gary, nobody asked him why Chad grabbed a tortilla chip and scooped a mountain high Took one bite and looked around with genuine surprise [Steve — Internal Dialogue] Okay... This is actually really good. Like... really good's creamy, it's salty, little lime Garlic's coming through just right I hate that I'm saying this But this might be the best guacamole here tonight Jessica grabbed another scoop and said, “Gary, what'd you do?” Trevor said, “Seriously, man, this tastes different than normal guac” Gary just smiled and leaned against the kitchen wall Said, “You haven't even gotten to the good part at all.” [Chorus] “YOU THINK FLAVOR LIKE THIS COMES FROM AVOCADOS ALONE?!” Everybody laughed while Gary pointed at the bowl “YOU THINK FLAVOR LIKE THIS COMES FROM AVOCADOS ALONE?!” He said, “There's something special that gives this stuff its soul!” “What'd you put in it?” “What's making it taste this good?” Gary smiled like a man who finally knew he was understood “YOU THINK FLAVOR LIKE THIS COMES FROM AVOCADOS ALONE?!” And everybody went back for another scoop. Melissa looked inside and said, “Is there cheese in this?” Gary said, “Of course there is, that's where I get the richness” “Parmesan?” “Nope.” “Cheddar?” “Nope.” “Cotija?” “Not even close.” Trevor said, “Okay, Gary, what kind of cheese are we talking?” Gary smiled proudly while the tortilla chips kept dropping “It's my own recipe, been perfecting it for years” Steve laughed and said, “Dude, just tell us what it is.” Gary leaned across the counter. [Gary] Fromunda Cheese. [Silence] Fromunda...? Is that a brand? I've heard that word before. Oh no. [Pre-Chorus] Gary... what exactly does “Fromunda” mean? You guys don't know? Nobody answered. It's cheese. That's not what he asked. Well, it's FROM UNDA. [Silence] [One tortilla chip snaps] **[Chorus]** “YOU THINK FLAVOR LIKE THIS COMES FROM AVOCADOS ALONE?!” Nobody was laughing now, everybody staring at the bowl “YOU THINK FLAVOR LIKE THIS COMES FROM AVOCADOS ALONE?!” Gary said, “That's the beauty of artisanal control!” “WHAT'S IN THE GUAC?!” “WHAT DID WE EAT?!” Gary said, “Relax, everybody, you're making a scene!” “YOU THINK FLAVOR LIKE THIS COMES FROM AVOCADOS ALONE?!” Then somebody whispered: [Steve] ...I just had three. [Trevor — Internal Dialogue] No. No, no, no. I'm not listening to this. I knew there was something weird about the texture. I thought the richness was sour cream trick is getting the consistency right. [Trevor] Consistency?! Yeah. You mean the cheese?! Exactly. Gary, STOP. Why? You were all complimenting it five minutes ago! Nobody had an answer. Because he was right. The guacamole was still sitting on the counter. And it still smelled incredible i'm gonna be honest. This is still really good. [Everyone] SHUT UP, CHAD! [Drunk Guy] What? I'm just saying. [Final Chorus] “YOU THINK FLAVOR LIKE THIS COMES FROM AVOCADOS ALONE?!” Gary shouted while everybody backed away “YOU THINK FLAVOR LIKE THIS COMES FROM AVOCADOS ALONE?!” “The avocado's just the beginning of what I made today!” “YOU THINK WE'RE EATING THAT?!” “YOU THINK WE DON'T KNOW?!” Gary said, “You already ate it, so what's the problem now?” “YOU THINK FLAVOR LIKE THIS COMES FROM AVOCADOS ALONE?!” Gary raised the bowl and smiled: [Gary] You people just told me it was the best guac you ever had! [Everyone looks at the bowl] [Silence] [Someone slowly reaches for another chip] [Melissa] Don't. [Drunk Guy] I'm sorry. [CRUNCH] [Outrowarming's next door next month. I'm bringing queso