The Worst Pint I Ever Had

[Verse 1] I walked into the Crown by the station Boots still wet from the pouring rain Said "Pull me your finest consolation" Barman grinned like he knew my pain Glass hit wood with a lazy rattle Foam slid over the chipped old rim Took one sip Felt me tongue start to battle With something strange Something far too grim [Chorus] It was the worst pint I ever had Flat as a tire Warm as a bath Tasted like socks that went off last Monday Smelled like regret and a bad aftermath Raise your glass if ye've been that sad To the worst pint ye ever had [Verse 2] There was a curl of a fly on the surface Doing slow laps like it paid to swim Barman said "That’s just extra service" Winked and called it a garnish rim Tried to send it straight back He was stubborn Swore it came from a “vintage cask” Vintage what? Some forgotten dungeon? Where good beer goes in And goblins ask [Chorus] It was the worst pint I ever had Flat as a tire Warm as a bath Tasted like socks that went off last Monday Smelled like regret and a bad aftermath Raise your glass if ye've been that sad To the worst pint ye ever had [Instrumental] [Bridge] Still I drank every cursed last swallow (oh why?) Pride’s a fool and my wallet’s thin Sometimes the only thing you can follow Is a terrible story and a terrible drink [Chorus] It was the worst pint I ever had Flat as a tire Warm as a bath Tasted like socks that went off last Monday Smelled like regret and a bad aftermath Laugh it off It’s a tale to brag About the worst pint ye ever had