WHY

© 2026 Exidious — Lyrics/Composition/Vocal upload ────────────────────────────────── ℹ️ Song Info This song is meant to convey what living with PTSD feels like on a daily basis. How I see and hear and detect things. How it is to always feel watched and judged even when that is all in your head. It reflects the questions I ask myself every day: Why am I like this, and why can’t I break free from it? ────────────────────────────────── Why? (I don’t know) But why? (I still don’t know) I ask the question daily, why am I so trapped? I hear a creak or a crack, my body is electrified I jump at every sound, every contour I feel myself get adrenalized Always fight, never flight But why am I like this? Why, oh why, do I feel like this? Every noise and image becomes my never ending, Enemy! Why is it like this? Why can I not break this? Why I just want to not be This! Guard is up around the clock I don’t wanna give a fuck Always feeling hard-locked I take deep breaths, feeling out the day People look at me like I’m pale-grey I just want to be able to sit back, Feel my shoulders relax I’m always overtaxed, Enduring panic attacks I-i-i-- Just want to hide from familiar faces And those judgmental gray-gazes… I-i-i-- Just want to relax! Why am I like this? Why, oh why, do I feel like this? Every noise and image becomes my never ending, Enemy! Why is it like this? Why can I not break this? Why I just want to not be This! I don’t want to be this. I just want to be.. free