Lyrics
Subtitles ready[Chorus] Hey, Imma start stealing shit 'Cause the price of shit is exorbitant Hey, Imma start stealing shit And if I go to jail, I can deal with it So Imma start stealing shit I tried being good, got sick of it If this is what they're charging for basic shit Fuck it Imma start stealing shit [Verse 1] Damn, why the cops gotta be such jerks? I don't understand how self-checkout works It said "place item in the bagging area" I did that shit, now it's causing hysteria Lady came over like, "Sir, you missed one" No I didn't That barcode's just dumb Now everybody's staring like I robbed the place Over twelve-dollar cheese and a frozen pizza I used to walk in with a shopping list Now I walk around doing cost-benefit Do I really need eggs? Do I really need bread? Do I really need freedom? ...Eh, we'll see what happens next [Pre-Chorus] Everything went up Except what I get paid So apparently crime Is the new minimum wage [Chorus] Hey, Imma start stealing shit 'Cause the price of shit is exorbitant Hey, Imma start stealing shit And if I go to jail, I can deal with it So Imma start stealing shit I tried being good, got sick of it If this is what they're charging for basic shit Fuck it Imma start stealing shit [instrumental break with a melodic lead guitar 16 bars] [Verse 2] Went to buy some shampoo, nearly lost my mind Nine damn dollars for the cheapest kind Feels like I need a loan for a gallon of gas And a second damn mortgage just to wipe my ass I scanned one item, it charged me for three Machine started yelling like it recognized me "Unexpected item in the bagging area" Yeah, it's called groceries, Brenda, don't get hysterical Manager walked over with that thousand-yard stare Like he's seen twelve shoplifters before I got there I said, "Listen man, I came here to pay" Then I saw the total and reconsidered my ways Now I'm standing here making difficult choices While the checkout machine keeps making robot noises If survival's gonna cost me every cent that I get I'm starting to see the appeal of petty theft [Pre-Chorus] Everything went up Except what I get paid So apparently crime Is the new minimum wage [Chorus] Hey, Imma start stealing shit 'Cause the price of shit is exorbitant Hey, Imma start stealing shit And if I go to jail, I can deal with it So Imma start stealing shit I tried being good, got sick of it If this is what they're charging for basic shit Fuck it Imma start stealing shit (Imma start stealing shit, Imma start stealing shit, Imma start stealing shit, Imma start stealing shit) [Instrumental Outro]