Lately

Lately I'm not feeling okay Most days I wanna stay late Stare at the screen until it's daybreak I've been having trouble keeping my brain running All I'm saying is it's getting hard for me to think straight Lately I've been feeling like I'm drowning and I'm falling down into a dream state I've been setting three alarms to wake up and I still hate It, can't lie, my head's in a hot place At this stage I don't even know if I have faith And It's kinda getting crowded in this headspace I hear things crawling in the vents like I'm playing Dead Space Now the paranoia's setting in, am I in bad shape? I keep thinking everybody's staring at me And I can see them in the corner of my eye (Mm) You can't tell me that I'm crazy, I'm not blind And you can't tell me that I'm lazy, I just (I just) I been barely getting by   Imprisoned inside of my mind and I'm grinding my teeth till it's biting the bone and I'm eating myself until I'm digesting the marrow Now I see it's all so just hollow and narrow, I'm scuttling Like I'm the Pharaoh, but I'm only ruling a desolate land with no river and the silt is all dry No trees, no seed, no life I try, but every time I pick up the spade, it withers and I'm feeling bitter When I look in the mirror, I don't recognize the person I see The shell that's inside it is barely me All of the friends that I used to know Are becoming estranged and I seem like a ghost Feeling deceived, I grieve and I roll up my sleeves and I get back to work When the bullet's still trapped in the chamber Ain't got no range You gotta take aim and eject the casing I'm starting to think I should probably change But I ain't letting nobody change me My back against the wall I just want a peace of mind, but I can't have it all At least, that's what they told me On my shoulder's a devil, an angel, and an old me They say to balance all three And maybe I should be more balanced, it's just not the way that I like it to be I like it chaotic and manic Hysterical laughter from panic I'm running, I hope I don't run out of breath, and I hope that the race isn't rigged, and I hope that I'll finally rest I've been working hard as a bitch, and the good news is, now I can finally afford a new fridge And I finally got time for a vacation, but I got no time to leave I'm too tired of losing to quit Man, fuck all this crying and bitching Don't you love it when good things come together? I tell me it only gets better I tell me to shoulder the pressure I tell me don't mind the bad weather The sunshine is boring, I'm sure my joy would be spoiled if everything floated my way Shit, I forgot what else I wanted to say