Lyrics
[INTRO — Dial-up noises, distorted notification sounds, cheerful piano] Ding! Welcome back! You've got seventeen messages! Three death threats! Four marriage proposals! And somebody called you a fascist! (Cute giggle) GOOD MORNING, INTERNET! [VERSE 1 — Funky bass, playful piano, chopped breakbeats] Wake up! Log in! Open my eyes! Another beautiful digital paradise! Somebody's crying! Somebody's lying! Somebody's selling the secret to flying! A cat becomes president! A frog becomes God! A man wrote a thesis defending a fraud! Scroll down! Scroll up! WHO GIVES A FUCK?! My attention span just got hit by a truck! [PRE-CHORUS — Tempo accelerates, strings become frantic] One little click! Two little lies! Three hundred strangers telling me to die! Four different wars! Five different trends! SIX THOUSAND PEOPLE I'LL NEVER BEFRIEND! (Sudden silence) ...Anyway. [CHORUS — EXPLOSIVE BREAKCORE + DISTORTED ROCK + ORCHESTRAL CHAOS] WELCOME TO INTERNET INSANITY! WHERE EVERYONE'S LOST THEIR HUMANITY! SCREAM! SCREAM! SCREAM AT THE SCREEN! WE'RE ALL THE KINGS OF NOTHING WE'VE SEEN! HA! HA! HA! ISN'T IT FUNNY?! WE SELL OUR SOULS FOR DIGITAL MONEY! CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! TILL WE DIE! GOOD MORNING, WORLD! THE INTERNET'S ON FIRE TONIGHT! [POST-CHORUS — Hyperfast chopped vocals, glitch stutters] LOL! LMAO! WTF! OMG! 404! NO SANITY! CTRL! ALT! DELETE MY BRAIN! RECONNECT— DO IT AGAIN! [VERSE 2 — Aggressive punk guitar, rapidly shifting time signatures] BREAKING NEWS! THE WORLD HAS ENDED! Wait, never mind. The post was edited. Somebody's canceled! Somebody's back! Somebody's arguing with a JPEG cat! The comments are burning! The moderators fled! A twelve-year-old just declared me dead! I found enlightenment! I found despair! I FOUND A MAN SELLING USED UNDERWEAR! (Distorted whisper) Why am I still here? (Maniacal laughter) BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS! [BRIDGE — Beautiful classical piano, angelic choir, sudden emotional sincerity] Somewhere beneath the noise... A lonely voice is calling. Somewhere between the jokes... A real human heart is falling. A million little windows, A billion little lives. We built ourselves a universe... Just to scream into the night. (Soft female whisper) "Hello?" ... "Is anybody there?" (One notification sound) "YOUR COMMENT HAS BEEN REMOVED." [BREAKDOWN — DIGITAL HARDCORE, BLAST BEATS, GLITCHED SCREAMING] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! FUCK YOUR ALGORITHM! FUCK YOUR PERFECT FACE! FUCK YOUR LITTLE NUMBERS! FUCK YOUR DIGITAL GRACE! I AM NOT A PRODUCT! I AM NOT A TREND! I AM JUST A HUMAN— (System voice) "Your free trial has ended." ... YOU MOTHERFUCK— [FINAL CHORUS — MAXIMUM CHAOS, ORCHESTRAL METAL + 220 BPM BREAKCORE] WELCOME TO INTERNET INSANITY! A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING CATASTROPHE! LAUGH! CRY! FIGHT! REPEAT! WE BUILT A WORLD WE CAN'T DELETE! HA! HA! HA! ISN'T IT FUNNY?! WE TURN OUR SUFFERING INTO MONEY! LOVE! HATE! LIVE! AND DIE! WE'RE ALL STILL HUMAN— AT LEAST WE TRY! [OUTRO — Everything collapses into digital noise] (Cute cheerful voice) Thank you for visiting! We hope you enjoyed your stay! Please rate your experience! From one... To five... (Long silence) ... (anger voice) ONE STAR. (Dial-up disconnect sound) [END]