Aedth - Enough for Today

I woke up today and I didn't hate myself. I don't know why that feels so hard to say... Maybe I'm getting better. Maybe I just had a good day. Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up feeling the same. I don't know... But for once, I don't need to know. I've spent so much time trying to figure out what's wrong with me... I forgot I could just let myself be. And I'm still hurting. I'm still scared of being alone. I still think too much when nobody answers their phone... But I'm trying. God, I'm trying. Maybe I'll be alright... Not today, maybe not tomorrow... But someday I'll look back at myself and be glad I kept going. Maybe I'll fall apart again. Maybe I'll have another bad night. But I'm still here... and lately... that feels like enough. I still think about the things I can't take back. People that I've hurt, people I still wish I had. And sometimes I wonder if I could've done more... Said something different, stayed a little longer, or just let them go. But I can't keep living like I owe yesterday the rest of my life. I did what I could with who I was at the time. And maybe that's not enough to make everything alright... But I'm learning to forgive that guy. And I'm still hurting. I'm still scared of being alone. I still think too much when nobody answers their phone... But I'm trying. God, I'm trying. Maybe I'll be alright... Not today, maybe not tomorrow... But someday I'll look back at myself and be glad I kept going. Maybe I'll fall apart again. Maybe I'll have another bad night. But I'm still here... and lately... that feels like enough. Maybe I don't need to understand everything... Maybe some things happened and that's all they'll ever be. I can't change who left... I can't change what I lost... I can't keep asking myself what I could've done. So I'm letting it hurt. I'm letting myself cry. I'm letting myself miss the life I thought I'd have... without letting it take the one I still have. And maybe... that's what healing feels like. Maybe I'll be alright... Not today, maybe not tomorrow... But someday I'll look back at myself and be glad I kept going. Maybe I'll fall apart again. Maybe I'll have another bad night. But I'm still here... and lately... that feels like enough. I woke up today... and I didn't hate myself. Maybe tomorrow I'll do it again. And if I don't... that's okay. I'll try again the day after that. I'm still here... I think that's enough for today.