PEBCAK

[Verse 1] Ticket 409 on a Tuesday morning Coffee is sludge and the headset is warning Me that the queue is stacking up high I take the call and I hear the sigh She says the Wi-Fi is dead and the signal is ghosting I’m looking at logs while she starts roasting The hardware the software the state of the school I keep my voice steady I play it cool I tell her to bring the laptop in Let's see where the trouble begins I pop the case and check the card Looking for why the connection is hard And there it is hiding in the dust and the heat A jagged little problem that I didn't expect to meet [Chorus] You're screaming at the protocol I'm just trying to make the call It's not the network it’s not the code It's just a heavy emotional load I fix the machines but I can't fix the mood When the logic is lost and the attitude's rude Yeah I’m support But I can’t support this [Verse 2] So I see the culprit and I have to explain There’s a stubborn mouse inside the mainframe Not the one you click but a literal guest Making a home in the wireless nest I tell her standard procedure is swap and replace And suddenly panic falls over her face I say look it’s a user issue strictly speaking I’ll send you a new one to stop the squeaking I’ll mail it out wait a week and you’ll see She looks at me like I’m the enemy I don't want a new mouse I never asked for a mouse [Verse 3] Now the volume is rising to a fever pitch She’s threatening HR like flipping a switch Says she’ll go to the top she’ll file a report On the humble admin in student support She doesn’t want gadgets she doesn’t want gear She just wants the problem to disappear But she won’t let me fix what is actually wrong So we dance in circles to the same old song [Bridge] I’m staring at the ticket on the glowing screen Caught in the gap between the human and machine You can reboot the system you can wipe the drive But you can’t debug being alive No you can’t debug being alive [Instrumental] [Chorus] You're screaming at the protocol I'm just trying to make the call It's not the network it’s not the code It's just a heavy emotional load I fix the machines but I can't fix the mood When the logic is lost and the attitude's rude Yeah I’m support But I can’t support this [Outro] She hangs up the phone with a final shout I still don't know what that was all about Mark the ticket resolved close the tab Just another morning in the IT lab