I'm not alright wip

[Intro | Bare Guitar | Close-Mic Breathing] [Verse 1 | Soft R&B Vocal | Exhausted] I've been thinking about hurting myself again. I don't want to. That's the fucked up part. I know exactly who needs me here. I know what I'd leave behind. I know better. So why does my head keep going there when I'm alone? I don't wanna die. I'm just so fucking tired of feeling like this. [Pre-Chorus | Vocal Beginning to Crack] And I keep telling myself I'll be alright. Get through work. Go home. Go to sleep. Wake up. Do it again. But some nights I don't believe myself. [Chorus | Wide Guitars | Emotional R&B Clean] I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I just don't wanna feel like this anymore. And I know there's a difference I fucking know there's a difference. So why am I scared of being alone with myself? I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I'm trying to stay right here. I've got too much to live for... So why does staying hurt this fucking bad? [Verse | Cracked R&B Vocal | Barely Holding Together] As I sit here thinking about ending everything, I can hear them scream... my kids calling for their father, and I know what that would mean. I'd be a memory in their heads, 'cause I was fucking weak, 'cause I never fucking cared! [Voice Drops | Almost Whispered] I did... I fucking cared. So why does no one ever care for me? Why am I the one who has to tackle every fucking battle handed to me? Why can't I find someone to be happy with...? Why can't I just... have you...? [Pre-Chorus | Vocal Beginning to Crack] And I keep telling myself I'll be alright. Get through work. Go home. Go to sleep. Wake up. Do it again. But some nights I don't believe myself. [Chorus | Wide Guitars | Emotional R&B Clean] I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I just don't wanna feel like this anymore. And I know there's a difference I fucking know there's a difference. So why am I scared of being alone with myself? I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I'm trying to stay right here. I've got too much to live for... So why does staying hurt this fucking bad? [Bridge | Soft R&B Vocals | Fragile | Close-Mic] [Clean Guitar | Sparse Piano | No Drums] [Breathy Falsetto Harmonies Slowly Enter] I don't need you to fix me... I don't even know what that would mean. I just need somebody to sit here for a while... and tell me I don't have to be okay. [Long Pause] 'Cause I'm tired of being strong. I'm tired of saying I'm fine. [Voice Breaking] I just want somebody to look at me... and know I'm not alright. [Almost Whispered] Please... don't leave me alone tonight. [Layered Falsetto] (I'm not alright...) (I'm not alright...) (I just want to be with you tonight...)