Lyrics
# YOU HAD TO BE THERE [Intro] Me... The crew... A couple joints... Good times, right? [Verse 1: Quiet, bitter, conversational vocals. Warm clean guitars.] My cap and gown were folded on the chair, You called and said the whole damn crew was there. I showed up sober, standing by the stairs, You passed the joint; I felt the others stare. I said, "I'm good"; you laughed and called me lame, I took a hit; you smiled and said my name. My college forms were waiting in a stack, But every Friday pulled me farther back. [Pre-Chorus: Growing frustration. Drums slowly build, vocals becoming strained.] I tried to leave; you said, "Just one more night," You made it sound like leaving wasn't right. I thought I'd miss the only life I knew, But all I learned was how to follow you. [Chorus: Explosive, emotional vocals. Heavy distorted guitars.] I THOUGHT Y'ALL WERE MY EVERYTHING! YOU'RE THE REASON I HAVE NOTHING! You said I'd miss the memories we'd make, So I missed every chance I had to take. YOU SAID, "YOU HAD TO BE THERE" EVERY NIGHT! I let that fear convince me you were right. You filled up every evening on my phone, Then disappeared when I was all alone. [Verse 2: Bitter, increasingly aggressive delivery. Punchy drums.] I kept my phone beside me every night, In case you called and said to come outside. I missed the day to register for class, Because I thought these nights were built to last. By winter, I was smoking on my own, Even on nights you never called my phone. I tried to quit, but couldn't make it last, The habit stayed when all the parties passed. [Pre-Chorus: Emotionally charged, strained vocals.] I tried to leave; you said, "Just one more night," You made it sound like leaving wasn't right. I thought I'd miss the only life I knew, But all I learned was how to follow you. [Chorus: Raw, near-shouted delivery. Full-band intensity.] I THOUGHT Y'ALL WERE MY EVERYTHING! YOU'RE THE REASON I HAVE NOTHING! You said I'd miss the memories we'd make, So I missed every chance I had to take. YOU SAID, "YOU HAD TO BE THERE" EVERY NIGHT! I let that fear convince me you were right. You filled up every evening on my phone, Then disappeared when I was all alone. [Instrumental Break: Melancholic overdriven guitar lead, gradually becoming distorted and dissonant.] [Verse 3: Exhausted, bitter vocals. Instrumentation starts sparse and builds.] I found a photo buried in my phone, Six of us smiling in a stranger's home. Three moved away; we hardly ever speak, The rest just hit me up to smoke each week. Last week I told you I might go enroll, You laughed and asked if I was getting old. I heard that same laugh from the parking lot, And finally knew what friendship was not. [Bridge: Instruments pull back. Intimate, nearly spoken delivery building to a desperate shout.] I could've left; I know that part is true, But why'd I have to smoke to sit with you? You called it friendship; I called it a home, Now you've moved on and left me here alone. [Final Chorus: Explosive, anguished vocals. Full distortion, crashing cymbals.] I THOUGHT Y'ALL WERE MY EVERYTHING! YOU'RE THE REASON I HAVE NOTHING! You said I'd miss the memories we'd make, So I missed every chance I had to take. YOU SAID, "YOU HAD TO BE THERE" EVERY NIGHT! I let that fear convince me you were right. You filled up every evening on my phone, Then disappeared when I was all alone. [Outro: Distortion fades. Single clean guitar and defeated, vulnerable vocals.] The room goes quiet when the smoke is gone, And so does every name I counted on.