Lemonade

[Intro – cheerful kid voice, summer ambience] Lemonade! Ice-cold lemonade! Fifty cents! Fresh lemonade! Made it myself! [Verse 1] Cute little stand on the corner, red wagon and plastic cups Timmy sitting there all proud in his backwards baseball cap Neighborhood moms thought it was adorable, they lined up with their kids Nobody noticed the pitcher was warm or had a suspicious tint [Internal Dialogue – Karen] Aww, he’s so independent! I’ll take three, we’ve been outside all day! [Internal Dialogue – Mike] Tastes a little... off. But kids these days don't know how to make it right anyway. [Pre-Chorus] Timmy kept pouring with a big innocent smile Said, “I made it fresh this morning, took me a really long while!” He held up the pitcher like a trophy in his hands [Timmy] Anybody want a refill? [Chorus] “WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THIS LEMONADE?!” Mrs. Rodriguez spit it out all over her brand-new suede Little Emily started crying, said it burned her throat While Timmy kept pouring like a proud little host “WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THIS LEMONADE?!” It’s warm! It’s yellow! And it definitely ain’t from concentrate! Old man Harold whispered, “I think I just drank urine...” [Timmy] Duh. That’s the special ingredient! [Post-Chorus – Gang Vocals] FIFTY CENTS! FIFTY CENTS! BEST DEAL ON THE BLOCK! [Verse 2] Panic hit the cul-de-sac faster than the stomach cramps People gagging in the grass, some already doubled over Chad tried to play it cool but his face was turning green [Internal Dialogue – Chad] I drank four cups... I told him it was fire... I gave him a five-dollar tip... Why the fuck did I give him a tip?! [Internal Dialogue – Sarah] I let my toddler drink this... I’m going to burn my entire esophagus. [Internal Dialogue – Timmy] They said my lemonade sucked last summer... Not this year. This year... I went organic. [Pre-Chorus] Mrs. Patel started dry-heaving behind the minivan While Timmy offered refills with his little dirty hands [Timmy] Extra ice? [Chorus] “WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THIS LEMONADE?!” Debbie called her lawyer while wiping off her face Kevin threw up in the bushes, then threw up again Timmy just shrugged and smiled at the crowd [Timmy] It’s homemade, my friend! [Bridge – sudden silence] [summer ambience] [Internal Dialogue – Harold] Wait... [Internal Dialogue – Karen] What did he say? [Internal Dialogue – Mike] Homemade? [Timmy] You guys keep asking what's in it. You wanna see? [Bridge – dark] Timmy lifted up the pitcher And everybody took a step back There were no lemons on the table No sugar in the kitchen sack No juicer, no pulp, no rind, no seeds Just one filthy plastic pitcher Sitting underneath the sun [Internal Dialogue – Priest] Lord... Please don't let it be what I think it is. [Internal Dialogue – Drunk Uncle Rick] Honestly? I've had worse at the bar. [Priest] Rick, shut the fuck up. [Timmy’s Mom – from porch] Timmy! I told you to use the lemons in the fridge! [Silence] [Timmy] Oh. Those lemons. [Breakdown – screamed] IT’S PISS! STRAIGHT KID PISS! NO LEMONS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS! HE DIDN’T EVEN DILUTE IT! HE’S SO FUCKING PROUD OF IT! NOW HALF THE NEIGHBORHOOD HAS TIMMY’S DNA IN THEIR SYSTEM! FIFTY CENTS A CUP! BEST DEAL IN THE CITY! NO SUGAR! NO ICE! JUST FRESH LOCAL PISS! [Timmy – cheerful] Anybody want another one? [Verse 3] Sirens screaming down the street Three patrol cars hit the curb Mrs. Rodriguez is screaming Someone's calling animal control Chad's sitting on the sidewalk Questioning his entire life Debbie's on the phone with lawyers Screaming, “THIS IS CHILD ABUSE!” [Internal Dialogue – Officer] Nobody move. Nobody drink anything. [Timmy] Officer, you want one? [Officer] Absolutely fucking not. [Timmy] It’s fifty cents. [Officer] I DON'T CARE! [Final Chorus – huge] “WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THIS LEMONADE?!” The whole block is screaming while Timmy starts to fade Parents drag their children and throw their cups away “WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THIS LEMONADE?!” The cops are taking statements while the fire department sprays Timmy waved at all the angry parents as they drove away [Timmy – cheerful] SEE YOU TOMORROW! I’LL MAKE A BIGGER BATCH NEXT TIME! [Outro – fading, cheerful] Lemonade... Ice-cold lemonade... Fifty cents... [Timmy – whisper] Maybe sixty next time